Hot Air Balloons

I saw a hot air balloon while I was driving around yesterday and I wondered, what is the appeal of these things? They are slow-moving, noisy, floating baskets, which have absolutely no value at all. There are many better options out there if you want to fly through the air, the faster the better. Stupid hot air balloons. They float slowly through the sky, providing no value whatsoever. The only value I can even see is if you are sightseeing, but there are many better options. So, here is my list of things to do or have fly you around if you seek above-ground thrills other than hot air balloons:

• Jet Pack
• Helicopter
• Plane
• Hang-glider
• Blimp
• Flying Saucer (you'll have to entice an alien to abduct you first, or you can just call up the US military and they can hook you up, they've been storing one at Area 51 for the last couple of decades)
• Sky-diving
• Bungee Jumping
• Rollercoasters (not actually flying, but a lot of fun)
• Base Jumping