Hot Air Balloons

I saw a hot air balloon while I was driving around yesterday and I wondered, what is the appeal of these things? They are slow-moving, noisy, floating baskets, which have absolutely no value at all. There are many better options out there if you want to fly through the air, the faster the better. Stupid hot air balloons. They float slowly through the sky, providing no value whatsoever. The only value I can even see is if you are sightseeing, but there are many better options. So, here is my list of things to do or have fly you around if you seek above-ground thrills other than hot air balloons:

• Jet Pack
• Helicopter
• Plane
• Hang-glider
• Blimp
• Flying Saucer (you'll have to entice an alien to abduct you first, or you can just call up the US military and they can hook you up, they've been storing one at Area 51 for the last couple of decades)
• Sky-diving
• Bungee Jumping
• Rollercoasters (not actually flying, but a lot of fun)
• Base Jumping

It's Still a Damn Poodle

Recently there has been an obsession with cross-breeding poodles. People say they do this so that the dog doesn't shed. That's fine and all, but hell, I'd put up with the damn allergies before I EVER bought anything bred with a poodle. See, it is still a poodle. You still just bought one of the most effeminate dogs in the world. Poodles are annoying, neurotic, curly-haired, and they bite. Guess what? Your new designer dog will still do all of those things. But it won't shed. And you can walk that curly haired freak around your neighborhood and be proud. You are walking the gayest dog in the neighborhood for sure. So whether it is a Chi-Poo, Cockapoo, Schnoodle, Goldendoodle, Labradoodle, or Yorkipoo; your dog is still a dumb damn poodle. And don't tell me it is a pure-bred Goldendoodle or something stupid like that. A mixed breed is never pure-bred. It is a mutt that they are now trying to sell for $1000! See much logic in that? I sure as hell don't. But it won't shed, and that is the most important thing!

Clowns

Clowns are creepy. I am not personally afraid of clowns, but many people understandably are. They dress up in funny outfits and wear a lot of makeup and big noses and wigs and weird hats and all that shit. I don't understand the fascination with clowns and why they seem to show up at kid's birthday parties. They are creepy sons of bitches and have no place in our society. Anyone who would want to be a clown is also creepy. They are probably just a failed stand-up comic or magician.

Bobby Knight and Others

Many many many sports reporters and other notable people in the sports industry make their picks for the NCAA champion and fill out a bracket that they let everyone else see. They make many bold predictions, because bold predictions get you noticed, safe ones do not. This goes the same with all sports. My question is, how come we don't hold them accountable for these bold predictions. If they make a prediction, and it turns out to be the complete horseshit we originally thought it should be, shouldn't they lose their job or suffer some sort of consequence? They should at least have to endure some sort of humiliation.
Take these two items for example. On TNT to start the NBA season, Charles Barkley said the Cavs wouldn't make the playoffs. The team that won the Eastern Conference last year wouldn't even make the playoffs this year. As it sits now they are easily one of the best teams in the East and are seeded 4th out of 8 playoff teams, very similar to where they are last year. I already didn't respect his opinion before this, but shouldn't we and many others hold him accountable for this? He made a statement meant only to garner attention and tried to pass it off as an objective opinion. What a moron, in my opinion, he shouldn't have a job. My second example is Bobby Knight. He hated the media as a coach and has now joined them. Then ESPN had all sorts of build-up to him picking Pitt to win the NCAA championship. Then they lost in the 2nd round. Now they are still having all sorts of buildup to Bobby Knight picking the Sweet 16. Shouldn't we already assume he knows absolutely nothing about what is going to happen since the team he picked to win it all only won 1 game instead of the required 6? Why would I care what he has to say now? Why does he still have credibility?
Anyway, this always brings me back to my same point that people like Charles Barkley and Bob Knight and Lou Holtz who are no damn good as sports reporters or TV analysts shouldn't have jobs. They played or coached in a sport and made a hell of a lot of money doing it. Those jobs should now go to those who studied or earned their way up the ranks in the sports analyst world. They would do a much better job, and we wouldn't get spit on by Lou Holtz.

Art Stolen in Heist

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/02/11/art.theft/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

When I read this article I started laughing. I guess I only thought this sort of thing happened in movies like Entrapment, Thomas Crown Affair, and other robber glorifying movies. I didn't think that paintings were actually swiped in real life. In the movies it is always so hard to rob these places that I didn't think anyone would actually ever really try it and get away with it. Perhaps they aren't as hard to steal as they are in the movies....